Road Test: Pabst Blue Ribbon beer

Posted by Ruth on June 18th, 2010

photo by Jeremy Brooks

Pabst Blue Ribbon is the beer of choice amongst hipsters in Portland. Portland is home to hundreds of excellent, unique, finely-crafted microbrewed beers. PBR is not one of them. It’s a cheaply-made, mass-produced lager brewed by MillerCoors. And yet it has become immensely popular here over the past decade, with sales up 25% last year, despite the recession.

So why does every trendy 20-something in tight jeans and an ironic t-shirt in this town seem to have the distinctive red, white and blue can permanently fused to one hand?

Some say it’s cool because it’s not cool — the beverage equivalent of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. Others attribute it to the scene in the David Lynch film Blue Velvet, where Dennis Hopper’s character exclaims: “Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!” And some reckon it’s just because it’s cheap.

So last night I was in a scungy club watching emo-core bands in a crowd of Sailor Jerry tattoos, flannelette shirts and non-prescription glasses, and it seemed like the right time to road-test my first (possibly last) PBR.

They had it on tap, but in the interests of authenticity, I went for the $2.50 pint can. I cracked it open, steeled myself for the bitter bite of cheap brew and preservatives, raised the tinnie to my lips, and took a sip.

And it tasted exactly like… nothing. I was expecting the nasty aftertaste of the Aussie equivalent like VB or Tooheys, but it wasn’t there. And I’m pretty sure that is the secret of the PBR’s appeal: it doesn’t have a taste. It’s beer for people who don’t like the taste of beer.

And I don’t really buy the “I drink it because it’s cheap” justification. At about 5% alcohol, you’re going to have to down quite a few to actually get wasted. Poor kids back home drink goon bags, and I’m sure there’s a local equivalent of Lady in a Boat or Spew-manti (and a brief Google search tells me that, in fact, there is: it’s called Charles Shaw, but is better known as “Two Buck Chuck”).

I would hypothesise that hipsters don’t want to actually taste booze, but don’t want to be seen drinking vodka raspberries in bars, either. So they drink this stuff.

Will I drink it again? Probably not if I’m paying, but it’s so bland and inoffensive, I probably wouldn’t say no to a free pint.

PBR isn’t bad: it’s just not good.

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 18th, 2010 at 9:14 am and is filed under Food, Portland. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • Bob

    Charlie Papazian, president of the Brewers Association, published the following tasting notes for Pabst Blue Ribbon in 2008: “A contrasting counterpoint of sharp texture and flowing sweetness is evident at the first sip of this historic brew. A slowly increasing hoppiness adds to the interplay of ingredients, while the texture smooths out by mid-bottle. The clear, pale-gold body is light and fizzy. Medium-bodied Blue Ribbon finishes with a dusting of malts and hops. A satisfying American classic and a Gold Medal winner at the 2006 Great American Beer Festival.” [6]

  • http://www.stumpdinpdx.com Ruth

    And in 2010, Ruth Brown, published the following tasting notes: Tastes. Like. Water.

  • Tanislinn888

    The problem with a good, micro-brewed IPA is that they’re so filing. You can only drink 2 before you’re too full. PBR you can pound all night, augmented by the occasional whiskey shot.

  • http://www.stumpdinpdx.com Ruth

    Yes, I probably should do an update to this post at some point. I have to admit, I’ve found myself buying PBR a few times – although for the very reasons I state. Sometimes someone offers to shout me a beer, and I’m not going to ask them for an expensive boutique beer – especially if THEY are drinking PBR. And sometimes you’re in a bar and want to have a cheap drink, but you’re not, as you say, really in the mood for a strong, big-flavoured microbrew. I have also found myself drinking Tecate when it’s really cheap, though, so maybe I’ve also just lowered my standards.

  • BobbyZ

    Stop it Bob, your turning me on. I’ve always loved PBR ever since the days of working for a bar where the owner bought thousands of dollars of PBR memorabilia. I honestly think it’s the best American Lager. It’s all I buy for that genre. And who the hell is this Ruth chick? Water? Someone only likes the microbrews who try too hard and put too much of everything in their beer (Sam Adams is a good example though not a micro brew). Stick with AnchorSteam and Sierra for the dark Americans. And I grew up in England and love my dark beer but PBR has its own little place in heaven.

  • Samuel

    “Someone only likes the microbrews who try too hard and put too much of everything in their beer”
    You mean they make real beer, not watery swill made with rice grain that literally requires corn dextrose to be added to it just so it has somewhat of a flavor and alcohol content.

    And did you actually call Anchor Steam and Sierra Nevada Pale (I’m assuming you’re referring to their Pale Ale, since that’s their most popular ale) “dark” beers? You know NOTHING about beer, do you?