Stump'd

One year of falling in and out of love with Portland.

Or: how I learned to stop running and love the beer… then started running again.

She’s a pinball wizard, there’s got to be a twist…

In which I embrace my secret yuppie shame.

Goodbye, Australia.

In which I drape myself in an Australian flag and belt out “Still Call Australia Home” while doing donuts in a FJ Holden and eating an Iced Vo-Vo.

In which I pack my life away in a box and become a modern-day Dharma Bum (with more Apple products and less beat poetry).

In which I reveal the secret new screening tactics the US Department of Homeland Security is using to keep unwanted visitors out of America.

In which I list the few things I already know and like about Portland (spoiler: most of them are food-related).

In which I quit my job.